Star Wars: Edge of the Empire - The Tuesday Night Irregulars

A Job Not Well Done
(Why I Should Be Listened To By These Halfwits)


It amazes me how these people I’m working with have survived this long in the dangerous part of the galaxy we work in.

If you’ll recall, we were protecting some weasel that was ratting out his former employer and deserving of the death that should have been coming to him. The day came that we had to take the vermin to his date at the advocates for the trial and the group I grudgingly work with had to come up with a “plan” to get him there. Volunteering myself for what should have been an easy task, given my skill with a Force Pike, I was overruled by the simpletons who decided to complicate things far more than necessary.

It was a cluster-****. Honestly, when the Wookie is one of the more intelligent beings in a conversation, you know you are in trouble.

The “plan” entailed the droid and another Bounty Hunter that joined our group (after the poor display by the Wookie at the house I mentioned last time, apparently our employer felt we needed someone else with actual skill other than me) driving a decoy car, while the rest of us hung out at the safehouse waiting for to drive the rat separately. I did try and make the best of it, as a spy for his enemies pretending to be a store clerk revealed himself by the safehouse and I dealt with him swiftly and efficiently.

However, once we started driving the rat, the enemy revealed himself, separating the decoy car and our allies by chasing them away from the advocate’s office as we arrived and were set upon by a group of assassins. The sniper and I left the car to take car of business, leaving our equally weaselly “leader” to scurry the rat inside. The Wookie, being his typically useless self, stood in the middle of the gunfight and took multiple shots from the assassins before I had to alter my battle plans to make sure he didn’t die on my watch. This is becoming a full-time job.

I impaled one of the assassins that was putting holes in the Wookie and deposited it at his feet, showing that once again I’m honouring my debt to him. He showed his gratefulness by looking sheepish and saying nothing, obviously embarrassed by his incompetence. The remaining assassins were either killed or ran away from the obviously superior warrior that I am. The rat and leader-weasel made it inside unharmed and I would assume that the rat spilled his guts to the advocate, although sadly not in the literal way. I did not get to see it as a terrified security guard got stun-gun happy when I wouldn’t put down my Force Pike and instead just sheathed it after shaking off the blood of my prey. The droid is in the process of finding the guard so he and I can have another meeting that he will not wake up from.

Our employer seemed satisfied by the result, as he was fairly generous with the credits. While the other simpletons are out drinking it away or whatever it is they do, I am going a little stir-crazy waiting for the droid to find the guard and listening to the Wookie prattle. These obligations needs to end soon or I might just snap!

I will sign off now. I look forward to the heat of our next meeting. May your hunt be successful!


Annoying Wookie


I write to you this day to share another tale of my frustrating experiences regarding the wookie that I owe the life debt to. I’m sure I can hear you telling me I owe nothing from here, but you also know my answer to that. It gives me no pleasure to admit to this debt, as I would love nothing more than to gut him and skin him alive, but not only did he save me from certain death, he then didn’t kill me when he had me at such an obvious disadvantage. While the more pragmatic of our kind would call that weakness deserving of death, those of us who believe in the code recognize a debt to be paid.

I long for it to be paid.

Today found us retrieving a witness that was to testify against his superior in order for the planetary authorities to execute him. I wanted to kill the sniveling wretch, for that is true weakness, but my obligation stayed my hand, as did the desire to show up the annoying wookie in defending the wretch’s hideout against those that would kill him.

And show him up I did. 14 attackers came at the hideout and while the wookie needed 4 others to assist him with 7 attackers, only two of whom he dealt with, I dealt with 6 alone, killing 4 on the end of my pike. You would have felt the fire stir watching me deal with the fleeing one. I leaped into his flying transport, swung around the outside of it and impaled him in the side of the head, before leaping from the crashing machine and landing deftly. It was a sight to see, I am sure.

Following that, I got to punch some information out of the prey the wookie couldn’t bring himself to kill. He didn’t take kindly to me pointing out his weakness and we came to blows. The bumbling fool couldn’t even shove me successfully, he was so clumsy. As I watched him tumble to the ground after avoiding his awkward shove, I truly didn’t understand why we haven’t crushed their race.

To finish off the eventful day, I was ordered to take a woman with me to shake down a merchant for reasons I didn’t bother finding out. Once there, the woman tried to reason with him, but I had to take over to get things done. Finding out he knew nothing but had a gambling debt, I helped him reassure me that he knew nothing else. My new macrobinoculars and utility belt will come in handy in the future, I’m sure.

I will sign off now. The idiot who thinks he is in charge just threatened me if I fought with the wookie again, so I need to get a better idea of his capabilities, should I need to kill him. I look forward to the heat of our next meeting. May your hunt be successful.



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